In an episode worthy of a slapstick sitcom, Border Bigwig, Tom Homan (not to be confused with Home Alone's Macaulay Culkin), argued he is 'unaware' of any Mini-Merican movers-report. The burning question was if a couple of kiddos had been returned to sender - one of them being a 2-year-old U.S. citizen, sippy cup and diaper bag in tow. Strapping on his superhero cape, Homan stated that 'due process' was served when the tot was sent on an unexpected Latin American holiday with her deportee mom. Not many toddlers can boast about being a globetrotter at that age, huh? Now, that's how you skip a queue at Disney!

Meanwhile, holding a gavel in one hand and facepalming with the other, Louisiana Federal District Court Judge, Terry Doughty (Descendent of the cartoon character Doug, perhaps?), penned down his eyebrows-raised suspicion that Uncle Sam might have just sent off a young citizen sans the hocus pocus of meaningful process. One moment the little girl is having Cheerios and watching Peppa Pig, next moment she's in Honduras. It's like a wacky episode of Dora the Explorer on steroids!

But Big Bad Homan stood his ground or shall we say...wall...insisting that 'the judge was due process'. At this point, I'm not sure if Doughty needed a dictionary or a bottle of aspirin. 'Face the Nation with Margaret Brennan' bore witness to Homan's assertion that mommy deportee got her fair share of 'due process- at enormous taxpayer expense.' Now, just one moment there - why is it that a toddler's mom get all the attention while I'm buried under student debt and no one bats an eye?

In a hilarious twist of events, Doughty, Trump's right-hand man during his term, tried to ring up Mom-zilla last Friday. Somehow, I have a hunch that our diaper dynamite played a witty prank and replied, 'Sorry, mom is not in at the moment, she's learning Spanish with Dora!' As we wait for the next episode of this comedy, all we can say is, it’s a tough time to be a toddler. Now where did I put my pacifier?