Us News

LA’s School‑Year Hijinks: Backpacks, Agents, and Toilet Breaks

The new school year opened in Los Angeles with more backpacks than a clown car, as tens of thousands of students marched into classrooms with bright smiles and even brighter shoes. Teachers had to dod...

Washington, D.C. Goes From Sanitation to Super‑Scrubbing

Washington, D.C. has turned into a colossal dumpster fire, with 800 National Guard troops already stationed to clean up the mess. Attorney General Pam Bondi, in a move that could have been lifted stra...

Erin the Windy Poopstorm: A Tropical Tale

Tropical Storm Erin is making a grand entrance, forming on Monday like a bad roommate who never leaves. Forecasters say it will upgrade to the Atlantic's first hurricane by Friday, so grab your umbrel...

Death Penalty? More Like a Bad Joke for Border Patrol Agent Shooting

Federal prosecutors announced Thursday they are seeking the death penalty against 21‑year‑old Teresa Youngblut, who allegedly shot a U.S. Border Patrol agent during a traffic stop. The charge follows ...

Social Security Hits 90, Still Losing Its Grip on Money

When Social Security turned 90, the program threw a glittering parade that even the retirees felt a little nostalgic about. It’s still handing out monthly checks to about 70 million folks—almost as ma...

White Powder? More Like White Glimmer! 26 Federal Plaza's Unexpected Disco Drill

The 26 Federal Plaza, a downtown fortress that houses Homeland Security and ICE, decided it was time for a quick "evacuate-the-sun" drill after a mysterious white powder appeared on the ninth floor. A...